The morning of our flight home started well. We were in the lobby just before 7am waiting for our driver. We kind of knew whom we were looking for
We waited
And we waited.
It got to be 7:30 and we decided that by 8:00 we would try calling Holt to see what was up. At about 7:35, an airport Limo/Taxi pulled up in front of our Hotel. We thought he was there for some other gentlemen who were waiting with their luggage. I said to John, "He's gonna have to talk long and hard to get me into that Cab, cause that is NOT the Holt Driver."
When the cab driver came in, He said (in broken English), "Are you waiting for a ride? I said, "yes, but we have a driver coming" and pointed to the other men who were waiting. He said, "no, baby?"
I was thinking, I am not paying this guy to drive us that far when our Holt driver is coming. I said, "yes, baby" He could see Alyvia and John in the foyer. Then he said, "Holt?" I said, "Yes" and asked John, if he thought we should go with this guy. He knew we had a baby and were with Holt and by this time--even if the Holt driver was still coming--we needed to get to the airport.
So, we let this Cabbie load our things and we headed for the airport, Still unsure if we were with the correct driver. His Cab said he took Visa, so we figured even if we needed to pay, we could and we would be at the airport. Sooner than later. When we got to the airport, he didn't ask us to pay, so we assume that the Holt driver could not come and that this man and his cab was Plan B.
We got into the airport and the line for Korean Air flights was HUGE. Like mega HUGE and we were only 2 hours from our departure time. About the time I started to get concerned (read panic) that we wouldn't even get to the front of the line before our flight left for Dallas, A nice young woman said "Family Line?" And pointed us to a very very short line for families with children or grandparents. WHEW. That line took 45 minutes to get to the front but we finally got to the desk. We asked the kind woman if we could perhaps be seated in the front of coach with the bulkhead or if there may at least be an extra seat (which is typical for Korean Air), She punched a ton of buttons and said she was sorry but the flight was completely full and the bulkhead areas were full (of other families with small children). BOO, BOO. She did manage to get us one aisle seat which was helpful because we were gonna be getting up A.LOT.
We had about 45 Minutes to get through security before our flight boarded. We stopped at a bookstore and bought Alyvia a Hangul Bible; We went through security, grabbed a bite to eat and we were on our way. We were seated next to a young woman from China. When she saw us with our toddler, she appeared to ask the flight attendant if she could be moved. Of course, that was not possible. The flight was full. She was not extremely happy and I was nervous. =/
The flight was slated to be 13 hours. O BOY. Many of our AP friends had had flights from Sheol on the trip home and others have had not too bad of flights. Who knew how ours would go? God did.
To sum it up, it was better than it could have been.
Alyvia did not cry very much.
But she was so very busy. Always squirming. . . Always moving. She really doesn't like TV, so Pororo on the Ipad was not so much of a help. She did enjoy the occasional viewing of the 3 bears song on the Ipad. That bought us about 20 minutes of tranquility on our 13 hour flight.
I titled this post "Walking home . . . From Korea?" for a good reason. We walked most of the way across the ocean. Moving was what kept Lyv somewhat peaceful. I had her in the carrier for her 2 hour and a half naps (3 hours of stillness) but I had to keep walking to help her stay asleep. I would guess, one of us was out of our seat with her for at least 10 of the 13 hour flight. Crazy. But it worked for us, for Lyv. Our flight was totally full and loaded with little ones. I don't really remember a time when someone's baby was not crying. =(
We encountered plenty of turbulence (sp?). And let me say, whenever the "fasten seatbelt" sign lit up, my heart would start to race. We needed to be able to move around. Lyv needed to be moving. And our seat mate (who had bubble sticky and baby snacks slopped her way a few too many times)
needed us to be up and moving. =)
I sang to Lyv a.lot while she was sleeping. . . Trying to keep myself awake and trying to cover the LOUD sounds by the wing where we stood for our sleep dance. Songs like Great Is Thy Faithfulness, God of the Ages, Meant to Be, When Love Takes You In and Holy, Holy, Holy poured from my lips into the heart of my daughter and the ears of my God. These moments were somewhat emotional for me. This was a big ole parenting mission God had us on and I was grateful to be coming home but also nervous about the immediate future transition with our new girl.
John and I took turns pacing the aisles. We added in 20 minutes of playing in the water in the Lav. And 20 minutes of bubbles in the Lav. Hey, you do what you have to do.
God sent a Brother to encourage us on our flight home. He was a Korean Biochemist (i think) who had just finished his PHD in the US. He was excited to tie up some loose ends in America and get home permanently to his wife and two daughters in Korea. He had attended a sister church of ours on the East coast and knew of another smaller set of like-minded believers, too. It was crazy to meet him. It was God, showing Himself to be in the details of our journey. This kind man gave us his encouragement and blessing on our family and on our adoption of our beautiful, Korean daughter.
I will never forget how God crossed our path on that flight through our new friend.
We counted down the minutes (not even kidding) until the flight would touch down in Dallas. We could not wait.
AHHH DALLAS!! You were so good to us!!! We were pretty much the last ones from our flight in the immigration line. The "new immigrant" line wasn't open on this Saturday, so we hopped into the long line of citizens. It really only took about 30 minutes to plow through the line to the friendly man at the counter. He said he'd go home and talk to his wife about adopting. He was caucasian and his wife was Asian. He said, he'd love to adopt an orphan from China. We told him there were unfortunately thousands (actually more) of children in China who could use a loving family. I would love to think he was serious and talked with his wife about this huge need.
The acutal immigration guys were super nice. We were second in their line. They barely gave our stuff a look and sent us on our way. . . To get our luggage.
We had to get our luggage . . . claim our purchases . . . have it searched . . . then reship it to Omaha. Lovely.
Acutally, it all went so smoothly. They were careful and thorough but kind and relatively quick. If ya'll ever need to travel internationally, I highly recommend the Dallas airport.
We noticed our boarding passes had us sitting in different rows so we went to the AA desk and the nice lady put us together and with an extra seat for spreading out a bit. Thank You, God.
WE WERE EXHAUSTED. By the time we got to Omaha, we had been awake for 24 hours. That was so hard. Both John and me had a couple of 20 minute naps on our flight from Seoul, but nothing to consider sleep. We were so very very tired. Our flight ended up delayed 3 or 4 times backing us up about an hour. It felt like a lot longer because we were just done. Exhausted and done.
The AA flight was also full and they boarded several standby passengers, but somehow with every other seat full, they left our extra seat empty. Bless God. We were in the back of this smaller plane, right by the engines so it was really loud. But we had an extra seat so we could spread out a bit for our last leg home.
The flight attendants were inquisitive about our adoption. They asked some good questions and basically talked John's ear off while I dozed with Lyv for most of this hour and 15 minute flight.
As we left the plane and headed toward our beautiful family and beloved friends who awaited us, our hearts were pounding. John said, "I think I'm just gonna cry." We were so tired and happy and overwhelmed in this moment.
Then we saw them . . . our other kids. We missed them so much. Never had we been gone from them this long. Never.
They embraced us
We hugged them
We hugged and held and were just so relieved to be home.
As we looked around we saw the faces of our other loved ones--friends from our church who are like family to us. They came to welcome us
to welome Alyvia to the USA and to her new home
We felt so loved
We were so grateful they came.
An adoptive friend and her daughter also came that day. Having Katie and Zinny at our Airport homecoming just made it that much more special. Katie and I had met on an online adoption support board and I was pleased to finally lay eyes and arms on her and her beautiful Korean American daughter.
After an exchange of kindnesses and simple stories of God's activity on our behalf the past week,
we located all of our luggage and headed for home.
Home--A small word that meant so much more that day than it had just one week before.
Welcome home Alyvia Huimang!!! Welcome home!
Simply grateful . . . that our 15 months of waiting to bring you home was finally over!
Hoping to add pics to this post soon. None from the flights of course, why??? But some from our airport homecoming. It was a very special time.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
First 36 hours . . .
Our first 36 hours with our little Huimanga were better than we expected in most ways.
When we got back to our hotel, we saw some friends in the lobby. They were leaving with their daughter. Heading home to the East Coast. Great news for them, their family would finally be together.
We went to our room and started getting to know our new daughter. She was small and so brave.
She still did not cry. We shared mini m&ms; she would feed us and we would feed her. We had sent them to her in her care packages and she seemed to remember and like them. We kept Pororo playing on Grandma Harts IPad; though she didn't stop to watch it much, it was comforting background noise.
Alyvia let daddy read "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" to her and she took the book and "read" her version to him. That was a very adorable moment that first late afternoon.
Alyvia was willing to eat some Jook from us. A friend had recommended it from the the local quick mart and she ate enough to keep us from fearing an empty tummy for her. She would eat some puffs and seaweed. She also enjoyed the snacks her foster mom sent for her including grape yogurt.
Our beautiful new daughter has a.mazing fine motor skills. She colored with us the first night and held her crayon the way teachers insist with both hands. Impressive.
Alyvia LOVES shoes. She loves to wear non-matching shoes. That will be fun.
We stayed close to our hotel the first night. We went to the roof top and walked and talked for about an hour. It was tranquil and empty and beautiful. Alyvia rode in the carrier on my front. She stayed pretty alert. For us . . . this night was a million prayers answered and a dream come true. For Hui-mang, it was a night of grief and confusion. Adoption is beautiful restoration but it is born of much heartache and loss.
Alyvia slept well (though tossing and turning) between us the first night. She didn't cry out. She continued to be her brave little self.
We hadn't intended to take Alyvia to the dining room for breakfast as the crowds there tended to be busy and louder than we thought would be best for her. But she was trooping right along, so to breakfast we went. Again, she ate--Korean rice and apples. Yay for a girl who eats even when she is very sad.
We stopped at the playroom to Skype with the bigs. The loved, loved, loved seeing their new sister.
And she was happy to show her cute self to them.
We hadn't planned to do anything outside of the hotel on Friday, but Lyv's foster mom said she loves to be on the go and she loves people. And since she continued to be calm, we were able to hit Insadong to pick up a few last minute purchases on Friday morning. Alyvia rode well on my back in the carrier for the two hour shopping stroll. We were able to get the last few things we needed from Korea + one last cup of Korean Starbucks. =) It was a very enjoyable morning with our new wonderful daughter.
Alyvia napped well on the couch in the afternoon. She cried silently while she slept and woke up with tear-stained cheeks and a tear-soaked spot beneath her eyes. Our poor baby was missing her foster family. We were glad she was grieving (it needed to be done) but sad for her broken heart. We prayed again (as we had for months in advance) that God would heal her broken heart and that His Spirit would comfort her as only He could.
Alyvia's outward grieving in Korea took the form of hyperactivity. Her Foster Omma had said she was "busy" but this crazy, hyper activity went WAY beyond "busy". Our girl's life had just been turned upside down and she displayed her confusion and sadness by acting pretty wild. We saw this extreme hyperactivity many times in Korea and on our trip home but not ever after that. She has grieved in other ways but this was the most extreme grief and loss behavior we have seen from our brave girliekins. Just sharing that in case it helps someone else prepare for their time of transition. Grief can take many forms and all of them are sad to see. =.(
Our friends, Merilee and Mylinda, went beyond the call of duty and hand-delivered our Family Day photos on disc to us. They had such a busy day with work but came out of their way to be sure we had our pictures before we left for America. They really wanted to see Lyv, too. And we were glad she was well enough to receive her first American visitors in Seoul even. =)
We grabbed a sandwich at subway for dinner. Alyvia sat on my back for most of the time. It was at this meal that we learned ALYVIA LOVES CHIPS. =) How fun is that????
It was dark by now but we took advantage of the lovely evening and took one last relaxing stroll down Insadong. It was busy, bustling as much as ever in the daylight. But we walked slowly, knowing that this would be Lyv's last walk in Sweet Seoul for a very long time. We took in the smell of traditional foods being sold in the countless restaurants and by vendors on the street. We awed again at the beauty of the Korean people, the familial love and variety of features represented in each stunning face.
It was a lover's stroll of sorts, surreal emotions running through. But tonight--Friday night, September 14, 2012-- this love was not simply the love of a man and a woman . . . a husband and wife . . . it was the fresh, young love of a man and a woman . . . a father and mother . . . for their long awaited daughter. And it was good. very good.
We got back to our room and braved a first tub bath which went pretty well as Lyv's foster omma said it usually did. Then we finished the last of the packing. Alyvia was not ready to sleep yet so we went atop Somerset one last time and enjoyed a peaceful walk.
Eventually, our girl fell asleep and we had our wake up call set to come at 5AM.
We prayed for a good (albeit short) night's sleep and hit the hay. Tomorrow was slated to be a huge day and we needed all the rest we could get.
Simply grateful for the gift of another beautiful daughter and for being amazingly graced during our first hours together.
When we got back to our hotel, we saw some friends in the lobby. They were leaving with their daughter. Heading home to the East Coast. Great news for them, their family would finally be together.
We went to our room and started getting to know our new daughter. She was small and so brave.
She still did not cry. We shared mini m&ms; she would feed us and we would feed her. We had sent them to her in her care packages and she seemed to remember and like them. We kept Pororo playing on Grandma Harts IPad; though she didn't stop to watch it much, it was comforting background noise.
Alyvia let daddy read "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" to her and she took the book and "read" her version to him. That was a very adorable moment that first late afternoon.
Alyvia was willing to eat some Jook from us. A friend had recommended it from the the local quick mart and she ate enough to keep us from fearing an empty tummy for her. She would eat some puffs and seaweed. She also enjoyed the snacks her foster mom sent for her including grape yogurt.
Our beautiful new daughter has a.mazing fine motor skills. She colored with us the first night and held her crayon the way teachers insist with both hands. Impressive.
Alyvia LOVES shoes. She loves to wear non-matching shoes. That will be fun.
We stayed close to our hotel the first night. We went to the roof top and walked and talked for about an hour. It was tranquil and empty and beautiful. Alyvia rode in the carrier on my front. She stayed pretty alert. For us . . . this night was a million prayers answered and a dream come true. For Hui-mang, it was a night of grief and confusion. Adoption is beautiful restoration but it is born of much heartache and loss.
Alyvia slept well (though tossing and turning) between us the first night. She didn't cry out. She continued to be her brave little self.
We stopped at the playroom to Skype with the bigs. The loved, loved, loved seeing their new sister.
And she was happy to show her cute self to them.
We hadn't planned to do anything outside of the hotel on Friday, but Lyv's foster mom said she loves to be on the go and she loves people. And since she continued to be calm, we were able to hit Insadong to pick up a few last minute purchases on Friday morning. Alyvia rode well on my back in the carrier for the two hour shopping stroll. We were able to get the last few things we needed from Korea + one last cup of Korean Starbucks. =) It was a very enjoyable morning with our new wonderful daughter.
Alyvia napped well on the couch in the afternoon. She cried silently while she slept and woke up with tear-stained cheeks and a tear-soaked spot beneath her eyes. Our poor baby was missing her foster family. We were glad she was grieving (it needed to be done) but sad for her broken heart. We prayed again (as we had for months in advance) that God would heal her broken heart and that His Spirit would comfort her as only He could.
Alyvia's outward grieving in Korea took the form of hyperactivity. Her Foster Omma had said she was "busy" but this crazy, hyper activity went WAY beyond "busy". Our girl's life had just been turned upside down and she displayed her confusion and sadness by acting pretty wild. We saw this extreme hyperactivity many times in Korea and on our trip home but not ever after that. She has grieved in other ways but this was the most extreme grief and loss behavior we have seen from our brave girliekins. Just sharing that in case it helps someone else prepare for their time of transition. Grief can take many forms and all of them are sad to see. =.(
Our friends, Merilee and Mylinda, went beyond the call of duty and hand-delivered our Family Day photos on disc to us. They had such a busy day with work but came out of their way to be sure we had our pictures before we left for America. They really wanted to see Lyv, too. And we were glad she was well enough to receive her first American visitors in Seoul even. =)
We grabbed a sandwich at subway for dinner. Alyvia sat on my back for most of the time. It was at this meal that we learned ALYVIA LOVES CHIPS. =) How fun is that????
It was dark by now but we took advantage of the lovely evening and took one last relaxing stroll down Insadong. It was busy, bustling as much as ever in the daylight. But we walked slowly, knowing that this would be Lyv's last walk in Sweet Seoul for a very long time. We took in the smell of traditional foods being sold in the countless restaurants and by vendors on the street. We awed again at the beauty of the Korean people, the familial love and variety of features represented in each stunning face.
It was a lover's stroll of sorts, surreal emotions running through. But tonight--Friday night, September 14, 2012-- this love was not simply the love of a man and a woman . . . a husband and wife . . . it was the fresh, young love of a man and a woman . . . a father and mother . . . for their long awaited daughter. And it was good. very good.
We got back to our room and braved a first tub bath which went pretty well as Lyv's foster omma said it usually did. Then we finished the last of the packing. Alyvia was not ready to sleep yet so we went atop Somerset one last time and enjoyed a peaceful walk.
Eventually, our girl fell asleep and we had our wake up call set to come at 5AM.
We prayed for a good (albeit short) night's sleep and hit the hay. Tomorrow was slated to be a huge day and we needed all the rest we could get.
Simply grateful for the gift of another beautiful daughter and for being amazingly graced during our first hours together.
Monday, October 1, 2012
15 Months . . . Part two.
The half hour cab ride to Holt was filled with a lot of praying and deep breathing. . . You know the kind, cleansing (holy moly this is about to get crazy) breaths. We looked around a lot and talked only a little. That's how I remember it, anyway.
When we got to Holt, we took one more deep breath and up to the big glass building we went. We were joined quickly in the lobby by our new friend, now photographer, Mylinda. Just having someone there that we "knew" made it a little easier somehow. And I was grateful for that. Also, grateful that our friend, Merilee, covered both her and Mylinda's school classes that afternoon so that Mylinda could be our family day photographer.
DJ, Our social worker, came to meet us next in the lobby. We greeted with hugs, grateful for the labor of love that DJ accomplishes everyday. . . Matching children with forever families, handling heart-wrenching family day meetings and pulling off all the crazy paperwork in between. She truly is an amazing woman.
We took the elevator to the second floor where the family day meetings take place and as we got off the elevator, DJ said, "Your daughter is already here. She was early." Before we could even process that, She called into the little meeting room, "Hui-manga!" and out she came. Our tiny, perfect, momentarily-quiet, beloved daughter shyly strutted out. DJ picked her up and handed her quickly but gently to me saying "Omma" which is mommy in Korean. Alyvia looked and looked. She did not cry but she looked. I could tell she was uncomfy, if not even afraid, in my arms, so we quickly entered the meeting room and I set her down toward her beautiful, foster Omma.
Seconds after we sat down, Omma had Alyvia offering us her snacks. She seemed fearful but willing to share and come nearer to us. Alyvia spent the rest of our meeting time sitting near and being doted on by her foster Omma. I loved seeing them interact and did not fear that Alyvia was not warming up enough to us. In this moment, I wanted them to have their last moments together to play, talk and touch. It really was about them. We would have forever with Alyvia and this was foster Ommas last moment with her beloved (foster) daughter. Hopefully, we can bring Alyvia back to Korea someday but for now this was their time and we were enjoying seeing them together.
With permission, we set up our video camera on the chalk board (the tripod broke as John was putting it together in the room). Mylinda was click, click, clicking away.
DJ asked if we had questions and off we went. . . Thanks to AP friends who have gone before us, we had 3 pages of questions for our foster mom. DJ (who was our interpreter) was kind about the length of the question sheet; I think she knew that the questions (however many) would benefit not only Alyvia's transition but also her future. This really was our only chance for information from Alyvia's current foster family and we made the time count as best we could. We found out so many neat things, i.e Alyvia loves to draw, she eats anything and she loves to be outside. She is busy, social and hardly ever cries.
After the questions, it was time to exchange our gifts. Our foster mom was most touched by the chalk sketch we had done of Alyvia for their family and by the necklace of Alyvia's Korean name that we had made for her. We had a letter of thanks translated for their family which she did not read in our presence as she recalled crying her way through the last letter we sent. This woman (Alyvia's foster mom) truly is a special lady. Alyvia was only their second foster child and she said that they may not foster again as they were having such a hard time emotionally letting Alyvia go to her forever family. Heart wrenching. . . Sad and beautiful. We are so grateful for the way this family embraced Alyvia as their own until we could get to Korea and bring her home. . . forever.
We were thrilled to receive thoughtful gifts of clothing and food for Alyvia. I will remember especially the numerous containers of seaweed (her favorite) and snacks, including grape yogurt.
Also, included in the clothing was an adorable blue skirt and the Hanbok Alyvia wore for her first birthday/Tol. We had not received any photos from the foster family during our wait (some families do and most don't), So our most treasured gifts for Alyvia from her foster family were the three little photo albums of her with her foster family. TREASURES for certain. I didn't want to spend every second looking at every photo but I'm glad we started looking through them because there were pictures of Alyvia with numerous family members. I was so glad to see them and be able to ask who each person was. Alyvia's foster Halmoney (grandma) was her favorite and her two older foster siblings. The pictures speak volumes of love that these people shared with our daughter and we are super, simply, forever grateful.
Our hour in the meeting room ended with us chit chatting with DJ about her family and her spiritual interests. As she apologized for our twice as long as projected wait, we assured her that we knew it was not in her control and that we were grateful for her hard work to bring our family together.
A friend of ours who had adopted from Korea last year had posted a mega progress video clip of her son on FB the day before, and with my friend's permission, I asked DJ if they would want to see the video. She was eager to see it and called the other office worker over to see Greer's video. They were so very impressed with Greer and his skills. The smiles on their faces made that 5 minute detour very very worth it. They also got to see a Sophie (Greer's twin) clip and would have sat all afternoon looking at their Holt babies who are on my FB list. But we had a daughter to attend to and
with questions answered and gifts exchanged, it was time to go downstairs to have Alyvia's very brief travel physical.
On our way to the doctor's office we got to stop and pay our Hotel bill--worth every penny. And give the flowers (see earlier post) to the doctor who spent the most time caring for Alyvia during her time in Holt's foster care family. We only saw 4 other babies in the building that day and did not recognize any of them. boo. But we did get to see Holt's newest set of twin boys. They were only a few days old and so perfect. My heart broke for their birthmom and her needs. I pray these beautiful boys become beloved sons in the perfect forever family.
On our way toward Dr. Park's office for Alyvia's Physical, Nurse Lee stopped us and gave us a back pack for Alyvia. It seems it is a tradition for them to share these little backpacks with the kids who are leaving to their forever families. I've seen photos of them on the backs of several of the toddlers coming home this summer. But I still knew it a special gift from a kind nurse who truly cared for our little Huimanga.
Off we went to Dr. Park. On her foster Omma's lap for the last time, Dr. Park gave Alyvia the quick once over. Ears, Heart, Lungs. Before we knew it, we were headed down the hallway toward the door. I was so broken for Alyvia and her foster mom. I asked foster Omma to hold Alyvia's hand down the hallway, this was her daughter. You can use the word "foster" if you want, and yes, the relationship between this woman and our daughter was always intended to be temporary, But Alyvia was loved by her more than words could convey. For 15 months theirs was the love of a mother and daughter and their parting was the second sacred moment of our trip to Korea.
I had asked our photographer the day before to honor the fostermom by not taking photos of her grief and oh what grief it was . . . more than we all could bear it seemed. Foster Omma crouched down and spoke private words with Huimanga . . . words of comfort and love and encouragement, no doubt. Foster Omma sobbed and hugged our girl and we all cried too. At some point, during this moment, DJ had gone outside to grab us a cab. She put our gifts in the trunk and gave the cab driver directions to our hotel. We came outside on what had been a rainy but now simply overcast day, foster Omma was holding Alyvia and asked her for a kiss. Then she asked Alyvia to kiss me which she did. Then she handed Alyvia to me and backed away toward the building. I had hoped to embrace the woman who had loved our Alyvia all these months, but it was not meant to be, not on this day at least.
DJ helped us into the cab and told us that the cab driver knew where to go so not to worry. Our sweet Mylinda got a few photos of us in the cab and with that we were seven. Our family of six in that moment filled with emotion and sadness and loss and gain became seven.
When we got to Holt, we took one more deep breath and up to the big glass building we went. We were joined quickly in the lobby by our new friend, now photographer, Mylinda. Just having someone there that we "knew" made it a little easier somehow. And I was grateful for that. Also, grateful that our friend, Merilee, covered both her and Mylinda's school classes that afternoon so that Mylinda could be our family day photographer.
DJ, Our social worker, came to meet us next in the lobby. We greeted with hugs, grateful for the labor of love that DJ accomplishes everyday. . . Matching children with forever families, handling heart-wrenching family day meetings and pulling off all the crazy paperwork in between. She truly is an amazing woman.
We took the elevator to the second floor where the family day meetings take place and as we got off the elevator, DJ said, "Your daughter is already here. She was early." Before we could even process that, She called into the little meeting room, "Hui-manga!" and out she came. Our tiny, perfect, momentarily-quiet, beloved daughter shyly strutted out. DJ picked her up and handed her quickly but gently to me saying "Omma" which is mommy in Korean. Alyvia looked and looked. She did not cry but she looked. I could tell she was uncomfy, if not even afraid, in my arms, so we quickly entered the meeting room and I set her down toward her beautiful, foster Omma.
Seconds after we sat down, Omma had Alyvia offering us her snacks. She seemed fearful but willing to share and come nearer to us. Alyvia spent the rest of our meeting time sitting near and being doted on by her foster Omma. I loved seeing them interact and did not fear that Alyvia was not warming up enough to us. In this moment, I wanted them to have their last moments together to play, talk and touch. It really was about them. We would have forever with Alyvia and this was foster Ommas last moment with her beloved (foster) daughter. Hopefully, we can bring Alyvia back to Korea someday but for now this was their time and we were enjoying seeing them together.
With permission, we set up our video camera on the chalk board (the tripod broke as John was putting it together in the room). Mylinda was click, click, clicking away.
DJ asked if we had questions and off we went. . . Thanks to AP friends who have gone before us, we had 3 pages of questions for our foster mom. DJ (who was our interpreter) was kind about the length of the question sheet; I think she knew that the questions (however many) would benefit not only Alyvia's transition but also her future. This really was our only chance for information from Alyvia's current foster family and we made the time count as best we could. We found out so many neat things, i.e Alyvia loves to draw, she eats anything and she loves to be outside. She is busy, social and hardly ever cries.
After the questions, it was time to exchange our gifts. Our foster mom was most touched by the chalk sketch we had done of Alyvia for their family and by the necklace of Alyvia's Korean name that we had made for her. We had a letter of thanks translated for their family which she did not read in our presence as she recalled crying her way through the last letter we sent. This woman (Alyvia's foster mom) truly is a special lady. Alyvia was only their second foster child and she said that they may not foster again as they were having such a hard time emotionally letting Alyvia go to her forever family. Heart wrenching. . . Sad and beautiful. We are so grateful for the way this family embraced Alyvia as their own until we could get to Korea and bring her home. . . forever.
We were thrilled to receive thoughtful gifts of clothing and food for Alyvia. I will remember especially the numerous containers of seaweed (her favorite) and snacks, including grape yogurt.
Also, included in the clothing was an adorable blue skirt and the Hanbok Alyvia wore for her first birthday/Tol. We had not received any photos from the foster family during our wait (some families do and most don't), So our most treasured gifts for Alyvia from her foster family were the three little photo albums of her with her foster family. TREASURES for certain. I didn't want to spend every second looking at every photo but I'm glad we started looking through them because there were pictures of Alyvia with numerous family members. I was so glad to see them and be able to ask who each person was. Alyvia's foster Halmoney (grandma) was her favorite and her two older foster siblings. The pictures speak volumes of love that these people shared with our daughter and we are super, simply, forever grateful.
Our hour in the meeting room ended with us chit chatting with DJ about her family and her spiritual interests. As she apologized for our twice as long as projected wait, we assured her that we knew it was not in her control and that we were grateful for her hard work to bring our family together.
A friend of ours who had adopted from Korea last year had posted a mega progress video clip of her son on FB the day before, and with my friend's permission, I asked DJ if they would want to see the video. She was eager to see it and called the other office worker over to see Greer's video. They were so very impressed with Greer and his skills. The smiles on their faces made that 5 minute detour very very worth it. They also got to see a Sophie (Greer's twin) clip and would have sat all afternoon looking at their Holt babies who are on my FB list. But we had a daughter to attend to and
with questions answered and gifts exchanged, it was time to go downstairs to have Alyvia's very brief travel physical.
On our way to the doctor's office we got to stop and pay our Hotel bill--worth every penny. And give the flowers (see earlier post) to the doctor who spent the most time caring for Alyvia during her time in Holt's foster care family. We only saw 4 other babies in the building that day and did not recognize any of them. boo. But we did get to see Holt's newest set of twin boys. They were only a few days old and so perfect. My heart broke for their birthmom and her needs. I pray these beautiful boys become beloved sons in the perfect forever family.
On our way toward Dr. Park's office for Alyvia's Physical, Nurse Lee stopped us and gave us a back pack for Alyvia. It seems it is a tradition for them to share these little backpacks with the kids who are leaving to their forever families. I've seen photos of them on the backs of several of the toddlers coming home this summer. But I still knew it a special gift from a kind nurse who truly cared for our little Huimanga.
Off we went to Dr. Park. On her foster Omma's lap for the last time, Dr. Park gave Alyvia the quick once over. Ears, Heart, Lungs. Before we knew it, we were headed down the hallway toward the door. I was so broken for Alyvia and her foster mom. I asked foster Omma to hold Alyvia's hand down the hallway, this was her daughter. You can use the word "foster" if you want, and yes, the relationship between this woman and our daughter was always intended to be temporary, But Alyvia was loved by her more than words could convey. For 15 months theirs was the love of a mother and daughter and their parting was the second sacred moment of our trip to Korea.
I had asked our photographer the day before to honor the fostermom by not taking photos of her grief and oh what grief it was . . . more than we all could bear it seemed. Foster Omma crouched down and spoke private words with Huimanga . . . words of comfort and love and encouragement, no doubt. Foster Omma sobbed and hugged our girl and we all cried too. At some point, during this moment, DJ had gone outside to grab us a cab. She put our gifts in the trunk and gave the cab driver directions to our hotel. We came outside on what had been a rainy but now simply overcast day, foster Omma was holding Alyvia and asked her for a kiss. Then she asked Alyvia to kiss me which she did. Then she handed Alyvia to me and backed away toward the building. I had hoped to embrace the woman who had loved our Alyvia all these months, but it was not meant to be, not on this day at least.
DJ helped us into the cab and told us that the cab driver knew where to go so not to worry. Our sweet Mylinda got a few photos of us in the cab and with that we were seven. Our family of six in that moment filled with emotion and sadness and loss and gain became seven.
BRAVE. . . that was the word that came to mind first at the commencement of our drive to the Somerset. This little 21 pound 2 year old was so very very brave. She was overwhelmed and afraid but still present. At first her little body moved as if she were holding in the biggest cry of her life but she did not cry. She did not shed one tear in the cab--Part of me wishes she had. She leaned against me and played with my necklace and sat in a silent but not still sort of shock.
John spoke kind words of comfort to her then he started to sing.
God of the Ages, History's Maker,
Planning our pathway holding us fast.
Shaping in mercy all that concerns us.
Father, we praise You. Lord of our past.
God of this morning,
Gladly Your children worship before You trustingly bow.
Teach us to know You, Always among us.
Quietly Sovereign, God of our now.
God of tomorrow, Strong Overcomer,
princes of darkness own Your command.
What then can harm us? We are Your people.
Now and forever, kept by Your hand.
God of past ages, God of this morning,
God of our future, Help us, we pray.
Teach us to trust You, love and obey You.
Crown You each moment, Lord of today.
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