When we got to Holt, we took one more deep breath and up to the big glass building we went. We were joined quickly in the lobby by our new friend, now photographer, Mylinda. Just having someone there that we "knew" made it a little easier somehow. And I was grateful for that. Also, grateful that our friend, Merilee, covered both her and Mylinda's school classes that afternoon so that Mylinda could be our family day photographer.
DJ, Our social worker, came to meet us next in the lobby. We greeted with hugs, grateful for the labor of love that DJ accomplishes everyday. . . Matching children with forever families, handling heart-wrenching family day meetings and pulling off all the crazy paperwork in between. She truly is an amazing woman.
We took the elevator to the second floor where the family day meetings take place and as we got off the elevator, DJ said, "Your daughter is already here. She was early." Before we could even process that, She called into the little meeting room, "Hui-manga!" and out she came. Our tiny, perfect, momentarily-quiet, beloved daughter shyly strutted out. DJ picked her up and handed her quickly but gently to me saying "Omma" which is mommy in Korean. Alyvia looked and looked. She did not cry but she looked. I could tell she was uncomfy, if not even afraid, in my arms, so we quickly entered the meeting room and I set her down toward her beautiful, foster Omma.
Seconds after we sat down, Omma had Alyvia offering us her snacks. She seemed fearful but willing to share and come nearer to us. Alyvia spent the rest of our meeting time sitting near and being doted on by her foster Omma. I loved seeing them interact and did not fear that Alyvia was not warming up enough to us. In this moment, I wanted them to have their last moments together to play, talk and touch. It really was about them. We would have forever with Alyvia and this was foster Ommas last moment with her beloved (foster) daughter. Hopefully, we can bring Alyvia back to Korea someday but for now this was their time and we were enjoying seeing them together.
With permission, we set up our video camera on the chalk board (the tripod broke as John was putting it together in the room). Mylinda was click, click, clicking away.
DJ asked if we had questions and off we went. . . Thanks to AP friends who have gone before us, we had 3 pages of questions for our foster mom. DJ (who was our interpreter) was kind about the length of the question sheet; I think she knew that the questions (however many) would benefit not only Alyvia's transition but also her future. This really was our only chance for information from Alyvia's current foster family and we made the time count as best we could. We found out so many neat things, i.e Alyvia loves to draw, she eats anything and she loves to be outside. She is busy, social and hardly ever cries.
After the questions, it was time to exchange our gifts. Our foster mom was most touched by the chalk sketch we had done of Alyvia for their family and by the necklace of Alyvia's Korean name that we had made for her. We had a letter of thanks translated for their family which she did not read in our presence as she recalled crying her way through the last letter we sent. This woman (Alyvia's foster mom) truly is a special lady. Alyvia was only their second foster child and she said that they may not foster again as they were having such a hard time emotionally letting Alyvia go to her forever family. Heart wrenching. . . Sad and beautiful. We are so grateful for the way this family embraced Alyvia as their own until we could get to Korea and bring her home. . . forever.
We were thrilled to receive thoughtful gifts of clothing and food for Alyvia. I will remember especially the numerous containers of seaweed (her favorite) and snacks, including grape yogurt.
Also, included in the clothing was an adorable blue skirt and the Hanbok Alyvia wore for her first birthday/Tol. We had not received any photos from the foster family during our wait (some families do and most don't), So our most treasured gifts for Alyvia from her foster family were the three little photo albums of her with her foster family. TREASURES for certain. I didn't want to spend every second looking at every photo but I'm glad we started looking through them because there were pictures of Alyvia with numerous family members. I was so glad to see them and be able to ask who each person was. Alyvia's foster Halmoney (grandma) was her favorite and her two older foster siblings. The pictures speak volumes of love that these people shared with our daughter and we are super, simply, forever grateful.
Our hour in the meeting room ended with us chit chatting with DJ about her family and her spiritual interests. As she apologized for our twice as long as projected wait, we assured her that we knew it was not in her control and that we were grateful for her hard work to bring our family together.
A friend of ours who had adopted from Korea last year had posted a mega progress video clip of her son on FB the day before, and with my friend's permission, I asked DJ if they would want to see the video. She was eager to see it and called the other office worker over to see Greer's video. They were so very impressed with Greer and his skills. The smiles on their faces made that 5 minute detour very very worth it. They also got to see a Sophie (Greer's twin) clip and would have sat all afternoon looking at their Holt babies who are on my FB list. But we had a daughter to attend to and
with questions answered and gifts exchanged, it was time to go downstairs to have Alyvia's very brief travel physical.
On our way to the doctor's office we got to stop and pay our Hotel bill--worth every penny. And give the flowers (see earlier post) to the doctor who spent the most time caring for Alyvia during her time in Holt's foster care family. We only saw 4 other babies in the building that day and did not recognize any of them. boo. But we did get to see Holt's newest set of twin boys. They were only a few days old and so perfect. My heart broke for their birthmom and her needs. I pray these beautiful boys become beloved sons in the perfect forever family.
On our way toward Dr. Park's office for Alyvia's Physical, Nurse Lee stopped us and gave us a back pack for Alyvia. It seems it is a tradition for them to share these little backpacks with the kids who are leaving to their forever families. I've seen photos of them on the backs of several of the toddlers coming home this summer. But I still knew it a special gift from a kind nurse who truly cared for our little Huimanga.
Off we went to Dr. Park. On her foster Omma's lap for the last time, Dr. Park gave Alyvia the quick once over. Ears, Heart, Lungs. Before we knew it, we were headed down the hallway toward the door. I was so broken for Alyvia and her foster mom. I asked foster Omma to hold Alyvia's hand down the hallway, this was her daughter. You can use the word "foster" if you want, and yes, the relationship between this woman and our daughter was always intended to be temporary, But Alyvia was loved by her more than words could convey. For 15 months theirs was the love of a mother and daughter and their parting was the second sacred moment of our trip to Korea.
I had asked our photographer the day before to honor the fostermom by not taking photos of her grief and oh what grief it was . . . more than we all could bear it seemed. Foster Omma crouched down and spoke private words with Huimanga . . . words of comfort and love and encouragement, no doubt. Foster Omma sobbed and hugged our girl and we all cried too. At some point, during this moment, DJ had gone outside to grab us a cab. She put our gifts in the trunk and gave the cab driver directions to our hotel. We came outside on what had been a rainy but now simply overcast day, foster Omma was holding Alyvia and asked her for a kiss. Then she asked Alyvia to kiss me which she did. Then she handed Alyvia to me and backed away toward the building. I had hoped to embrace the woman who had loved our Alyvia all these months, but it was not meant to be, not on this day at least.
DJ helped us into the cab and told us that the cab driver knew where to go so not to worry. Our sweet Mylinda got a few photos of us in the cab and with that we were seven. Our family of six in that moment filled with emotion and sadness and loss and gain became seven.
BRAVE. . . that was the word that came to mind first at the commencement of our drive to the Somerset. This little 21 pound 2 year old was so very very brave. She was overwhelmed and afraid but still present. At first her little body moved as if she were holding in the biggest cry of her life but she did not cry. She did not shed one tear in the cab--Part of me wishes she had. She leaned against me and played with my necklace and sat in a silent but not still sort of shock.
John spoke kind words of comfort to her then he started to sing.
God of the Ages, History's Maker,
Planning our pathway holding us fast.
Shaping in mercy all that concerns us.
Father, we praise You. Lord of our past.
God of this morning,
Gladly Your children worship before You trustingly bow.
Teach us to know You, Always among us.
Quietly Sovereign, God of our now.
God of tomorrow, Strong Overcomer,
princes of darkness own Your command.
What then can harm us? We are Your people.
Now and forever, kept by Your hand.
God of past ages, God of this morning,
God of our future, Help us, we pray.
Teach us to trust You, love and obey You.
Crown You each moment, Lord of today.
